I was trying to take Nonviolent Communication Jackal language and translate it into Giraffe language.
I was having a real hard time with reframing blame....which reminded me of being struck by the idea of blame as "You need to be punished for my pain."...
With blame, you don't need to throw out causality altogether if you disengage from blame. You just need to throw out causality in terms of X made me feel Y.
For example, here's a quote from Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication book:
“If someone arrives late for an appointment and we need reassurance that she cares about us, we may feel hurt. if instead, our need is to spend time purposively and constructively, we mightt fee; frustrated. but if our need is for 30 minutes of quiet solitude, we may be grateful for her tardiness and feel pleased. thus it is not the behaviour of the other person but our own need that causes our feeling.”
