These are parenting notes that I wrote to myself:
What you want matters - genuinely matters!
Not "one of us has to die" way of conflict resolution, i.e., either totally your way, or totally my way
Willing to try to come up with "third ways"
Not Person A is critical, resulting in Person B is defensive (and often then Person B is counter-critical, leading Person A to be defensive...and then everyone is triggered...etc.)
Curiosity about what's going on for the other person, what are they trying to achieve, etc.
Genuinely asking
Working with
Not "You can't" - instead "I don't want ... because"
e.g., "I don't want to see you hurt yourself, that would be sad"
I-statements instead of you-statements
I'm trying to give you information
and you can make up your own mind
vs. I'm trying to control you
Saying "Please don't do that" in a calm unruffled way
in a trusting you way
in a seeing your foot in the space on the other side of the board that you are breaking (in a martial arts context)
